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EXCLUSIVE
ARTICLE NICD Part III "Addiction and Depression" (ADASK-Alcohol and Drug Addiction Survival Kit) Help
for Parents/Family/Others By Rev. Stephen J. Murray, NICD Director ”When I started using this One Proven Method, I began to experience tremendous growth and positive changes in my own recovery.” Rev. Stephen J. Murray, MCRC, NICD Director See this link for more about our Director and Founder NICD Web Sites: www.ni-cor.com
and www.nicd.us
CONTENTS: Part III of ADASK "Addiction and Depression" ADASK: Is a series of articles geared towards parents/others to help them cope and deal with the emotional task of being supportive to those going through the devastations of addiction, and just as importantly, to tap into the information and resources they need to care for themselves- Sign up for our on-line news magazine and make sure you don't miss the next installment: NICD Part IV "Interventions" Click Here To Sign Up Part I An Introduction to ADASK and Resources for Help
C)
Communication (Parts 1 & 2)
G)
Signs,
Symptoms, and Behavior
s of H) Youth and Family Support Resources/Other Resources
I)
Substance Abuse Treatment Opt J) Toll Free Hotlines / Web Support Resources
A) INTRODUCTION
Parents and families face one of the most difficult battles in today’s society- that of raising drug free kids. Of great comfort and benefit is the large data base to draw upon for education and support. The goal of this article is to not only support families in accomplishing that goal, but to also provides some valuable resources to aid them in their journey. I use the word journey for a reason. This will have to be an ongoing process if our youth are going to succeed. I encourage our readers to bookmark our site, and to also sign up for our monthly NICD News Magazine, as it is chock full of prevention resources. Together we can make a difference. Together we can change the face of alcohol consumption and drug addiction in this country. Please see our link below for how to sign up for our monthly tips, reports, articles, videos, and resources. NICD knows
that anti-drug efforts alone are not ADASK is
designed for learning what works in preventing alcohol,
tobacco and other drug use. It also will help you to know
what to look for in detection of use. We oppose catch and
punish. We advocate identify and help. We are listing
numerous helpful resources for you to explore. This
article, and its resources are just one of many publications
that NICD has, and will produce for you to gain awareness,
education, and resources to tackle the problem of substance
abuse. B)
NICD NEWS
MAGAZINE Our
comprehensive News Magazine covering the issues of
addiction, addictions, getting help, interventions, teenage
alcoholism and drug addiction, recovery, prevention, the
politics of addiction, housing, funding, treatment, family
resources, mental health, medical, spirituality, health and
wellness, articles and video presentations, and so much
more. Link to the current edition: NICD News Magazine C)
COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION
- The Anti-Drug Part I Communication
is one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal in
fighting drugs, alcohol, and tobacco products. Yet it is the
most feared and seldom used. Some
may think that just mentioning drugs to a child or teen,
will make them want to explore usage even more. Despite
research, and information abounds that cites differently
from this myth, it continues to be a struggle to enlist the
support and encouragement of parents to use this vital
anti-drug tool. We urge, and plead for you to check out our
prevention resources. Within the following pages you will
find important facts, tips, and advice on how to not only
begin a dialogue with your children and teens, but also how
to maintain communication. In addition to this, our
resources will show you how to put a plan of action into
effect to sustain a drug free home. We have already lost a
generation to the, "You do your thing, and I'll do
mine, and as long as we don't interfere with each other,
it's alright." I'm sorry, it's not alright!!! We, as
parents, educators, and supportive organizations, must set
the tone, set the standards, and set the societal norm. If
we do not do this, we will all suffer the consequences.
Right now we are paying for our lack of interest in fighting
substance abuse through higher taxes. And who do you think
pays for those jails, prisons, correctional institutions,
more police, higher accident rates, misdemeanors, and
felonies, all as a result of drugs. We are either part of
the problem, or part of the solution. What is your position
going to be? What I mean by this, is the here and now. The
past is just that, the past, but we need you to be actively
involved in raising your children to be drug free today-
right now. These may be harsh words to some of you, but we
need more hard talk about what roles each of us have taken
towards the responsibility of the current state of affairs
in this country, and what changes each of us are willing to
take on this issue for the future. Right now, somewhere in
this great land of ours are kids, 10, 11, 12 years old doing
drugs. In the time it takes for you to read this article,
someone has died from alcohol and/or drugs, or has killed
someone else because of alcohol and/or drugs. I urge you, no
I challenge you to visit our prevention pages, and make a
difference just for today, and then get up and do it again
each day from this day forward. COMMUNICATION
- The Anti-Drug Part II One
of our best tools in combating substance abuse, is the one
thing we have the most difficulty in using. I am
talking about "Communication." The
good news, is that there are enough resources to tap
into for help in this area. On the internet alone, there is
a wealth of information to be had that will assist
parents, educators, and professionals in this area. NICD has
developed, and implemented a program for just such
purposes. We call it our "Prevention/Anti-Drug"
pages, and within these pages you will find useful
guides for talking to children and teenagers about drugs,
alcohol, and tobacco products. There are items such as, 21
tips for keeping your children drug free, methods for
putting together a plan of action for a drug free home, and
interactive, fun and informative pages that address these
issues towards kids and teenagers as the audience. Please
visit our Prevention pages for more information. If you do
not find what your looking for, please feel free to contact
any of our professionals listed on our Staff Directory- We
Love to help... D)
PARENT TIPS 1.
Choose times for discussion when everyone is relaxed. (Do not to
use scare tactics for kids.) 2. Watch
for opportunities that are naturally occurring. 3. Foster
opportunities by watching an appropriate 4. Parents
can also sit a child down to talk. 5. Listen
to children and their feelings. Reflect back what a child
says, as this will let them know you understand and that you
care. (Example: Are you saying the show made you feel
__________? What part made you feel _________?) 6. Discuss
feelings, but know the facts and reality. 7. Parents
need to be educated about chemical dependency. 8. Never
waver from family expectations about alcohol and drug use. 9. Always
provide honest reasons not to use alcohol and drugs. (If you
lie or tell half truths they will find out and may never
trust you again concerning the topic, and will turn to the
streets for the truth). 10. Let
children know that you come from a base of love, concern and 11. Let
them know that you will trust their judgments, as long as
they come to you to discuss situations as they arise. 12. Don’t
be afraid to ask tough questions. 13. Never
be afraid to discuss problems. 14.
Try to steer conversations towards solutions. 15.
The more time you take to communicate with your child about
drugs and other sensitive subjects, the more at ease your
child will be coming
to you with
questions or problems. 16.
Be a better listener- ask questions and be willing to listen
to what your child has to say. Paraphrase what your child
says to you to
make sure
you understood what they meant. 17.
Don't react- in a way that will cut off further discussion.
If your child makes statements that shock you or are counter
to your beliefs, try to turn them into
a calm
discussion of why your child thinks the way he/she does. A
negative reaction to one subject, may make your child
apprehensive to start future
discussions
about other difficult subjects. 18.
The most important thing for you to remember is to tell your
children that you love them- and tell them often. E) Addiction and Depression What is addiction induced depression: Parents/Family- Are we caregivers? Are we codependents? What has this to do with addiction and depression? What does addiction and depression have to do with the parents and families of the alcoholic and/or addict? Caregiver is defined in Webster's' as "a person who provides direct care (as for children or the chronically ill)." Codependent is defined as "a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin)." You just may find yourself in the position of being both a caregiver and a codependent. You are giving direct care to a person who is ill, and you might get manipulated because of this. You might feel as though you have to walk on eggshells, and the alcoholic and/or addict is very adept at playing the victim, which places you, the parent or family member, in a very stressful position. This is known as manipulation. Do not, let me repeat this, DO NOT allow this to happen. If you allow this to happen you allow the alcoholic/addict to stay sick, and you also allow yourself to be held hostage by the disease of addiction. If the alcoholic/addict remains sick through their thoughts and behaviors, then relapse is only a short time away. The best approach in dealing with alcoholism/addiction is to leave the depression issue up to professionals, and stick with what you know best. If you know very little about what you are dealing with then we suggest you check into the resources listed below, as well as Sections H, I, and J, on this page to educate yourself on the disease of addiction. I often tell parents/wives/family, right in front of my patients, that they must be on guard for the alcoholic/addict playing the victim, and that you must not walk on eggshells EVER. I wish you could see the faces of the patients when I say this. I see affects of anger and, if the patient is honest, communications of, "you just took away my best tool of getting what I want." The sessions go on and eventually we get to talk about the biggest stressor for the loved ones of the alcoholic/addict. The biggest stressor I have found is that of, 'Where there is doubt there can be no trust'. The problem with playing the victim is that it is manipulation and it is not being honest. It is not being honest about the way you feel. Ah yes, feelings!!! Those things that alcoholics/addicts hate to feel. But if an alcoholic/addict is to remain clean and sober they must learn to grow up emotionally, which means identifying, accepting, and expressing their feelings openly and honestly. This is where the significant other comes into play in the most profound way. Without any formal training, a parent/wife/family member can help the alcoholic/addict to grow emotionally in leaps and bounds by simply not allowing the alcoholic/addict to get away with playing the victim. Doubt can be avoided through open and honest communications between the parent/wife/family member and the alcoholic/addict. Let's take a hypothetical situation. Let's say a parent has a doubt about their daughters motivation towards a sober life. Remember, where there is doubt, there can be no trust. That parent should confront their daughter immediately. If the parent is afraid, then there is a chance that they are being manipulated. Think about what you are afraid of. Is it that your daughter will be angry with you? Will she yell and scream? Are you afraid if you are wrong that by confronting her she will relapse? If you answer yes to any of these you may be manipulated. It is their behavior or reaction that is guiding your action, or non-action. What should be guiding your action is your gut feelings, what you are seeing, and what you are thinking. If your daughter has cut back on her 12-Step meetings, started hanging out with her old drug using friends, started to slip back into some of her old behaviors, then it's time to intervene. If she is going to relapse, it is going to be because of her behavior and not because of yours. So the rule of thumb is to speak up parents/wives/family members. You can be the role model of how to discuss feelings in a mature and respectful manner. This, along with professional help, will go far in dealing with the issue of addiction and depression. Below you will find some additional information relating to depression.
What is depression? What needs to be addressed, and to be on guard for, is that suicide rates for alcoholics/addicts are high. For cocaine use it's 62 times more likely, major depression 41 times more likely, alcohol 8 times more likely. Of the completed suicides in alcoholics, 48% also had a history of depression, (NIDA 1998). Signs and Symptoms of Depression:
Resources: American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse Depression and Chemical Dependency Kid and Drug Expert Shelly Marshall Organizations
That Specialize in Technical Assistance for Dual Diagnosis
(Substance Abuse and Mental Illness)
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is the Federal agency charged with improving the quality and availability of prevention, treatment, and rehabilitation services in order to reduce illness, death, disability, and cost to society resulting from substance abuse and mental illnesses.
The Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS) leads Federal efforts to treat mental illnesses by promoting mental health and by preventing the development or worsening of mental illness when possible. The CMHS Knowledge Exchange Network (KEN) provides information about mental health via a toll-free telephone number (800-789-2647), a Web site and more than 200 publications. CMHS is a division of SAMHSA.
The mission of the Center for Substance Abuse Prevention (CSAP) is to provide national leadership in the Federal effort to prevent alcohol, tobacco, and illicit drug problems. CSAP is a division of SAMHSA.
The mission of the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT) is to improve the lives of individuals and families affected by alcohol and drug abuse by ensuring access to clinically sound, cost-effective addiction treatment that reduces the health and social costs to our communities and the nation. CSAT is a division of SAMHSA.
The GAINS Center gathers information designed to influence the range and scope of mental health and substance abuse services provided in the justice system, tailors these materials to the specific needs of localities, and provides technical assistance to help them plan, implement, and operate appropriate, cost-effective programs.
The National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) is the information service of SAMHSA's Center for Substance Abuse Prevention. SAMHSA describes it as the world's largest resource for current information and materials concerning substance abuse. Services include: a repertoire of culturally diverse prevention, intervention, and treatment resources tailored for use by parents, teachers, youth, communities, and prevention/treatment professionals; and customized searches in the form of annotated bibliographies from alcohol and drug data bases. NCADI is one of the largest Federal clearinghouses, offering more than 500 items to the public, many of which are free of charge. Web
Sites That Specialize in Technical Assistance for Dual
Diagnosis (Substance Abuse and Mental Illness)
Articles
That Provide Technical Assistance for Dual Diagnosis
(Substance Abuse and Mental Illness)
Assessment and Classification of Patients with Psychiatric and Substance Abuse Problems
Dual Diagnosis: 15 Years of Progress
Integrated treatment for dual diagnosis
Do whatever you can to get between your kid and drugs/alcohol!!! F)
INTERVENTION / PREVENTION Brought
to you by Intervention
Center Anytime
someone needs help but refuses to accept it, a family
intervention is appropriate. A
family intervention can be used for people engaged in any
self-destructive behavior: ·
a person drinking too much ·
an anorexic ·
a gambler ·
a computer addict · a senior needing assisted living Intervention
is the most loving, powerful and successful method yet for
helping people accept help. A
family intervention can be done with love and respect in a
non-confrontational, non-judgmental manner. A
family intervention is often the answer, the only answer. It
can be done. It can be done now. (Top)
Family
Intervention works.
A
common scenario is as follows:
The
Preparation
Family
and friends may initially be apprehensive and confused. They
may be ambivalent about whether or not to do the
intervention. Some may be afraid of the person, others may
be angry. The
goal is to move from this disorganized and chaotic state to
a cohesive, focused group. To
do this, the participants meet with the leader beforehand to
educate themselves about the dysfunction, to determine how
to best help themselves, and to prepare for
Intervention
Day. This includes identifying others who should be involved
, exploring appropriate treatment options, and preparing
what they are going to say. This preparation often involves several meetings, telephone calls, and culminates in a practice session immediately prior to the Intervention Day. The
time varies, but the process is usually contained within one
to two weeks. Sometimes it can be shortened to a weekend. Family
Intervention Day
Imagine
family, friends, work colleagues and an intervention leader
entering a man's home or office. As
the leader ensures the process is orderly and safe, the man
hears how much he means to everyone there, how he affects
them with his behavior, and what they want their
relationship with him to be in the future. Then
the man is asked to accept help now; appropriate
arrangements are already in place. The tone is loving,
respectful and supportive, but firm; there is no debate. Seeing
his many loved ones, friends and colleagues together, the
man hears what they say and knows he can no longer hide his
problem. Nor does he want to. In
a short time he is receiving help.
Following
Family Intervention Day
Much
remains to be done. The education process continues.
Participants follow through on their plans for helping
themselves.
It
is never business as usual again.
Family
Interventions Vary
Because
each family situation is different, the scope and approach
to each intervention must vary accordingly. What may be
practical and
appropriate
for one family may not be for another. For
example, some family interventions require several weeks of
preparation, others can be done in a few hours or days. Some
family interventions have a professional leader present,
others not. Often a family intervention occurs in the
person's home, others in the leader's office. Some are a
surprise, others are not. Sometimes a great deal of family
education takes place before the intervention, in others it
takes place afterward.
A
Word of Caution:
Family
interventions are difficult and delicate matters and it is
important that they be done properly. No
family intervention should be undertaken without advice and
counsel of a professional experienced in the intervention
process. Furthermore, since people embarking on an intervention often feel ambivalent and apprehensive, it is important that they trust the interventionist. Should you ever feel uneasy with your interventionist, that you are being asked to do something you do not understand or agree with, you would be wise to stop the process and go elsewhere. Additional Resources:
G) SIGNS, SYMPTOMS, AND BEHAVIORS OF USE NICD Prevention, (Anti-Drug pages 1-7) www.ni-cor.com/prevention NICD Drug Pictures, Paraphernalia, Pill Identification www.ni-cor.com/drugpictures NICD Slang Terms / Street Language www.ni-cor.com/drugslang.html Brain Chemistry / The Disease Concept www.ni-cor.com/thediseaseconceptandbrainchemistry
Specific:
General: Abrupt
changes in work or school attendance, quality of work, work
output, grades, discipline. Unusual flare-ups or outbreaks
of temper. Withdrawal from responsibility. General changes
in overall attitude. Deterioration of physical appearance
and grooming. Wearing of sunglasses at inappropriate times.
Continual wearing of long-sleeved garments particularly in
hot weather or reluctance to wear short sleeved attire when
appropriate. Association with known substance abusers.
Unusual borrowing of money from friends, co-workers or
parents. Stealing small items from employer, home or school.
Secretive behavior regarding actions and possessions; poorly
concealed attempts to avoid attention and suspicion such as
frequent trips to storage rooms, restroom, basement, etc. Specific:
DSM-IV Definition of Addiction-
A maladaptive pattern of substance use, leading to
clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested
by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time
in the same 12-month period: (1) Tolerance, as defined by
either of the following: a. A need for markedly increased
amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or desired
effect. b. Markedly diminished effect with continued use of
the same amount of the substance. (2) Withdrawal, as
manifested by either of the following: a. The characteristic
withdrawal syndrome for the substance b. The same (or a
closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid
withdrawal symptoms. (3) The substance is often taken in
larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended
(loss of control).(4) There is a persistent desire or
unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use
(loss of control). (5) A great deal of time is spent in
activities necessary to obtain the substance, use the
substance, or recover from its effects (preoccupation). (6)
Important social, occupational, or recreational activities
are given up or reduced because of substance use
(continuation despite adverse consequences). (7) The
substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a
persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem
that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the
substance (adverse consequences). Specific:
Pupil Dilation
Before you do anything, consider this. There are two trains
of thought prior to detection and intervention. One thought
is to catch and punish, and the other is to identify and
help- remember why you are doing this, and the intervention
will turn out much better. Note: The following images are actual charts used by Neurologists, M.D.'s, R.N.'s, Drug Counselors, etc. to diagnose conditions related to brain injuries, medications effects, and intoxication / drug use indicators.
Blown
out wide pupils are indicative of crack, methamphetamine,
cocaine, stimulant use. Pinpoint pupils are indicative of
heroin, opiate, depressant use. Other causes of pupil dilation
H) YOUTH AND FAMILY SUPPORT RESOURCES/OTHER RESOURCES NICD Prevention, (Anti-Drug pages 1-7) www.ni-cor.com/prevention NICD Drug Pictures, Paraphernalia, Pill Identification www.ni-cor.com/drugpictures NICD Slang Terms / Street Language http://www.ni-cor.com/drugslang.html Michigan
Resource Center (MRC)… www.wearemrc.org
Prevention
Network… www.preventionnetwork.org
The
Search Institute … www.search-institute.org
Talking
with Kids about Tough Issues… www.talkingwithkids.org A
national initiative sponsored by Children NOW,
1-800-CHILD-44 Association
& MTV. http://helping.apa.org
1-800-268-0078 Parenting
is Prevention Site – www.parentingisprevention.org
PRIDE
USA – www.prideusa.org
Parents
Resource Institute for Drug Education I) SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREATMENT OPTIONS The
following link will take you to our keywords page. Once
there, scroll down till you see the map of the USA. Click on
the State you are looking for, and then complete the data
required to find the center. Other Resources: Faith Based Treatment Information J) TOLL FREE HOTLINES / WEB SUPPORT RESOURCES NICD Toll Free Numbers - http://www.ni-cor.com/tollfreehotlines.html Al-Ateen
– www.alateen.org
Alcoholics
Anonymous – www.alcoholics-anonymous.com
Families
Anonymous – www.familiesanonymous.org
Narcotics
Anonymous – www.na.org
Cocaine
Anonymous – www.ca.org
Al-Anon
– www.Alanon.org
Caron
Foundation – www.caron.org
Johnson
Institute – www.johnsoninstitute.com
Hazelden
Foundation- www.hazelden.org
Phoenix
House – www.phoenixhouse.org
More
treatment programs can be found at www.samhsa.gov
Teens
Using Drugs – What to know & what to do. http://www.hvcn.org/info/teensusingdrugs
Links
to important substance abuse websites. Washtenaw
& Livingston Counties Resources & Referrals provided
by Drug
Testing as a Tool for Parents… FDA cleared hair tests 1-800-628-8073 Latest
street drugs information – www.ni-cor.com/drugslang
Chemical
makeup of drugs – www.erowid.org
National
Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI)… www.health.org
Brochures,
videos, posters, street drug info. etc. Substance
Abuse and Mental health Services Administration (SAMHSA) www.samhsa.gov
Latest
research, prevention and treatment resources, catalogues,
etc. K) NOW WHAT?The question is bound to come up- Now that we have identified the problem, the help is in place, or the person in our life has come home- what do we, what can we do now?As the parent, significant other, family member you must educate yourself to the disease known as alcoholism/drug addiction. Below you will find some resources to tap into to help you along the way. As a common saying in the recovery rooms states, "First Things First." This means you!!! You must also get some help, or as I like to say, "HEALING." The disease of alcoholism/drug addiction is a family disease, because the alcoholic/addict is obsessed with getting and doing their drug of choice, and the family member is obsessed with the problem. Spend any amount of time with an alcoholic and/or addict and you are bound to be a little neurotic- it's enough to drive anybody crazy. I receive numerous calls and receive many emails that attest to the fact that much collateral damage is done in the wake that the alcoholic/addict creates. Now what?I suggest you check into some of the resources that are free. Although free, they can provide enormous enlightenment, help, and advice from the pro's, (those who have been and are in the trenches). Also check into picking up a book or two on recovery. Please see the resources below this section for listings. Counseling, whether from a therapist or clergy can be of extreme help. Please realize that you are not alone in this. Please accept that this disease has afflicted many from all walks of life, and that you need to let down any pride or prejudice you have from blocking you in getting the help you need. I know of one senators wife who created a non-profit organization to supply medications to third world countries, and she used her connections to get the pain medication she was addicted to through the organization- this is how cunning and powerful the disease is, and no one is exempt, no matter who they are, or what kind of position of prestige they hold, no matter how much money they make, or no matter how intelligent and educated they are. The disease does not discriminate.RESOURCES:NICD Toll Free Numbers - http://www.ni-cor.com/tollfreehotlines.html Al-Ateen – www.alateen.org Alcoholics
Anonymous – www.alcoholics-anonymous.com
Families
Anonymous – www.familiesanonymous.org
Narcotics
Anonymous – www.na.org
Cocaine
Anonymous – www.ca.org
Al-Anon – www.Alanon.org http://www.ni-cor.com/thediseaseconceptandbrainchemistry.html L) SYNOPSISThis
disease we call addiction is far reaching. The collateral
damage is extensive- it is like a tornado, ripping its way
through the lives of others. Sometimes it is hard to see
that things can change and get better, but it is true that
many are getting help and living without chemicals. It is
possible. It is happening. We can get overwhelmed amidst the
journey from detection to intervention, treatment, and
recovery. The worst is that person who just refuses to get
well. Well, even in this situation there is hope. Hope that
they will hit their personal bottom and seek help. It is
true, that numerous interventions, detoxes, and treatment
stays have an accumulation effect- eventually they get it
and stay clean and sober. The tough part is the wait. It is
in this whole process that prayer, counseling, and support
is needed for the parent/others. Please feel free to call
us, even if you just need someone to listen- we are here for
you and we love to help. If you have gotten this far down in
this article, you have done much to begin to solve the
problem of substance abuse. I commend you for getting and
staying involved. Sincerely, Rev. Stephen J. Murray, NICD Director Please feel free to email us with your comments and/or questions regarding this article or any other issue- We love to help... nicd@ni-cor.com #### END #### |
